Statistical Analysis, Part 3: Texas Defense

The third in a four part statistical analysis of each unit in the Texas-Ohio State Fiesta Bowl. Part one dealt with the Buckeye defense, part two dealt with the Texas offense, and part three covers the Longhorn defense.


To hardly anyone's surprise, the general meme around the banana republic that is Ohio State's corner of Blogfrica has been that Texas' defense is the weak spot of the team, and that Texas' lack of an elite defense will prevent this from being another embarrassing blowout. Like most conventional wisdom, this is an arrogant, and probably wrong assumption. In reviewing the defensive statistics for the teams the 'Horns offense has played, I saw some of Texas' defensive stats, particularly against the rush. I had nightmares. They are good. Will "Muskamp" does that to you. These are mostly assumptions I'm making prior to looking at the stats in-depth, however, so we shall see how they hold up afterward.

A few quick observations:

- Texas' run defense is sick-nasty and probably illegal in most states
- the secondary isn't half as bad as alleged given the offenses it has played
- Texas' defense is perfectly capable of making this game as ugly as any of the last few blowouts
- Hide the women, children. Hell, small animals too.



It's safe to say that three teams - Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, and Baylor - came into their game against Texas planning to win the game running the ball, like the Buckeyes inevitably will. The only game which did not end in tears for said team was Oklahoma State. Fortunately, Ohio State resembles Oklahoma State the most in terms of overall offense and players. Pryor is probably quicker in that Okie State QB Zac Robinson, and Wells is probably better (when healthy) than Kendall Hunter. The problem: Oklahoma State has a passing game to keep the defense honest. Ohio State, for most of the year, has not had any passing game, much less one to keep a defense honest. The numbers against Oklahoma are simply horrific: they held the Sooners, they of the two 1000-yard rushers, one hundred and fifty fuckin' yards under their average. It's a testament to Sam Bradford that it wasn't a blowout.

Texas is primed to shut Ohio State down. It's as simple as that. It's their strength against our strength, and I think it's hard to argue that Texas' rush defense isn't more consistent than Ohio State's rushing game, more than half of an offense that went three games without scoring an offensive touchdown. Big surprise: the offensive line has to show up. It can't just show up, though, it has to play the best game of any Ohio State offensive line since 2002 if it wants to, ya know, win. This is barring a ridiculous amount of turnovers by the Longhorns and three Malcolm Jenkins pick sixes.

No one is under any illusion that Ohio State is even a shadow of the best offense Texas has played, and with good reason. But to be fair, most offense are not Oklahoma, Texas Tech, Oklahoma State, or Missouri (who I'm watching struggle with Just Northwestern this very instant, to my dismay)

The impenetrable nature of the Texas rush defense may be why we're hearing about potential tricksyness with both Pryor and Boeckman on the field. As bad as the offensive line is, I'm not sure Boeckman can make all that much of a difference. I do like the move, somewhat, since it shows a willingness by Tressel to shake things up to best attack Texas' defensive "weakness". Perhaps Boeckman will end up saving the day, given that he can complete passes 20+ yards down the field with a consistency Pryor has yet to show? Perhaps Boeckman will go out on a positively storybook note, torching the Texas secondary for 200 or more yards. Does he have it in him? Does the line have it in them to block "Osackpo" for very long, if at all?

I doubt it. We shall see. If the numbers above don't cause you to go limp in the pants as an Ohio State fan, I don't know what will. Is there any hope, Gandalf, for Pryor and Beanie? Yeah, I think so. Penn State boasts a similarly dominating rushing defense, and Pryor actually did quite well moving the ball through the air against the subpar Penn State secondary. Of course, Ohio State managed a grand total of six points in the game, so if that's what we have to take for inspiration, excuse me if I'm a little intimidated. Also inspiring: Texas had a very a good rush D in 2006 even after we beat them, though we didn't exactly gash them on the ground in Austin.

In, sum, this is your defense:



This is your defense on Will Muschamp:



Stop your wailing in agony. If you aren't already an Ohio State football fatalist, you haven't been paying attention.

I forgot

But it doesn't matter since the majority of you probably have today off as well, so I hope you had a Merry Christmas. Bruce does too. Unless you're a Michigan fan or something of a similarly repugnant nature.

Statistical Analysis, Part 2: Texas Offense

The second in a four part statistical analysis of each unit in the Texas-Ohio State Fiesta Bowl. Part one dealt with the Buckeye defense, part two deals the 'Horns offense.

Twelve: Number on his jersey, or his real age?

Every superlative you can think of has been applied to the Texas offense, so I'm not going to waste your time: they're good. Scary good. Beat Oklahoma like a redheaded stepchild good. They are not unstoppable. No one is. Except for Florida 2008. But really, no one is. Texas has relied on its offense to carry the season, because it's defense certainly can't (or at least has not shown the ability to) pick up the slack. Part of that is attributable to ridiculous Big 12 offenses like Oklahoma, Texas Tech, and even Missouri and Kansas. Nonetheless, the defense has been subpar, especially by Will Muschamp's standards (not Muskamp, Bob "Melanoma" Davie).

Prior to the statistical analysis, I believed there are two offenses Ohio State has faced comparable to Texas: Illinois and Penn State. Ohio State struggled with the former, and performed suprisingly well against the latter. I also assumed Colt McCoy is liable to take off and run more than either of the two quarterbacks in both systems, and I don't need to remind you that Ohio State struggles against mobile quarterbacks, but I'll do it anyway. We'll see how these assumptions hold up in a minute.

I know that Google Docs sucks a wheelbarrow full of lobster-sized dicks, but bear with me so I don't have to learn anything complicated.

A key, if you need it:

APYA = Average pass yards allowed
ARYA = Average rush yards allowed

Figure out the rest for yourself.



The chart really doesn't tell you anything you shouldn't already know; more often than not, Texas' offense is housing fools. It doesn't do it in the balanced manner expected of great offenses, but it does it nonetheless. Some of the surprisingly bad/lackluster stats (UTEP, Colorado) can be attributed to the calling off of the proverbial dogs. Against Kansas, the 'Horns were up 35-7 after three. Texas A+M was a laugher almost from the start. I would not put much stock in subpar stats in most games that ended up being blowouts.

Nonetheless, there are a few key games where Texas struggled. Texas Tech is the most obvious one. For a half, Colt McCoy by his own damn self the Texas offense was kept under wraps by a smothering Texas Tech defense, which also happens to be the second-most balanced defense in the Big 12 behind Nebraska (6th vs run, 3rd vs pass). Nevertheless, Colt McCoy put the team on his back (again) and rallied Texas to a 33-32 lead. Buttergfingers in the Texas secondary and one Play of the Year of the Week later, Texas lost, but not because of any failure from the offense. Well maybe the rush offense, which was nonexistent against a unit it should have done better against. Still, the point stands: no one has truly shut down Texas for any more than a half. The offense runs in fits and starts on occassion, but Texas' fits and starts would be Nebraska '95 in the Big Ten, ACC and yeah, the SEC this year. They're that good. Not unstoppable, but definitely difficult to slow down. Even Heacock will get a bit of a pass if he gives up 30 to these guys.

My initial assumptions about Texas' offense and offenses similar to it in the Big 10 was largely correct, but I think Penn State has a far, far better running game. It isn't one guy, for starters. Okay, that's an oversimplification. Nonetheless, no team wants it quarterback to be its leading rusher unless that team is Georgia Tech. For whatever reason, Texas could not get its rushing game unstuck against some opponents (UTEP, Okie State) and obliterated others with it (Colorado, Okie). If you want to understand how hard Texas' rushing attack is to appraise, the best rushing defense nationally it faced all year was Oklahoma, and you can see above how that worked out. But against the 44th-ranked rush D of Texas Tech, it netted 80 whopping yards (almost as many yards total offense as OSU had in the '06 title game wa-hey!) In an odd coincidence, Ohio State is ranked literally just below the Sooners in rush defense, but it can be argued that the Sooners are so good against the run because they're so bad against the pass. Like, 110th in the country bad. One thing is certain: Ohio State will be the most balanced defense the Longhorns have faced, by far.

Fortunately, Ohio State's defense versus Texas' offense will be a matchup of strength on strength in the purest terms. Literally, it's Texas' downright sick passing game versus Ohio State's very good - but not great - secondary. I fully expect Malcolm Jenkins to more or less lock down Jordan Shipley. The onus is on the rest of the secondary to limit Quan Cosby et al. as best they can. I do not think Ohio State will keep McCoy under 200 yards as it did to both Mark Sanchez and Matt Flynn, for the following reasons: His name is "Colt McCoy", ARGH SOFT ZONE BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD ARGH, and I'm not convinced either Sanchez or Flynn are half the QB McCoy is.

HOWEVA (credit to MGoBlog), there is hope. Texas' lack of a consistent rushing attack from anyone other than Colt means that if the front seven does its job against the running game, the secondary may get help from the linebackers, cutting off Texas' butter ins, outs and slant routes. This is not a great downfield passing game, but neither were LSU or Florida. But both of those teams could generate a serious rushing attack when it mattered most. I'm not sure Texas can with any consistency. If Ohio State does the impossible and shuts down the Texas passing game, the rushing game simply won't be able to make up for it, due to its own deficiencies and Ohio State's typically stellar rush D.

The difference between Ohio State and every defense Texas has played is that it actually has a living, breathing secondary, something no Big 12 team seems to have. Fun fact: Colorado was the number one pass defense in the Big 12, allowing just 215 yards a game. Arkansas was 10th in the SEC allowing 208 yards per game. What does this mean? Probably bupkis. Name one reasonably good QB in the SEC not named Stafford or Tebow. Still, if you buy into the perception that Big 12 defenses are simply atrocious as a group, your viewpoint softens a little bit. Regardless of what you believe, it's hard to argue that the Buckeye defense isn't the most balanced defense the Longhorns will play all year, and provided Heacock coaches about as well as he did versus PSU, it should keep the game from becoming yet another ugly blow out. Cross your fingers.

Personally, I'm not all that optimistic. For all the progress Jim Heacock appeared to show against Penn State, he regressed against Illinois. As you saw in the last post, Illinois basically did what it wanted with the Ohio State defense in Champaign, and was killed in the end by frequent turnovers. Illinois also had a ridiculous pass offfense and a meh rush offense, and torched the Buckeyes doing both. Illinois was starting Juice "40%" Williams, people. I don't care how much he's improved, he'll always be "40%" to me. Regardless of what you think of him, he's not Colt McCoy. Daniel Dufrene is not Chris Ogbonnaya. Arrelious Benn is probably not Jordan Shipley or Quan Cosby, though Arrelious was quite limited against the Buckeyes. Still, I don't think Heacock has learned much if at all. I'll be surprised if Ohio State's defense, as good as it may seem, holds Texas under 30 points if it again deploys the same defensive game plan it did in every big game prior to the one against Penn State. Then again, maybe Heacock has some voodoo over Mack Brown, because even with Vince Young, Limas Sweed, Selvin Young et al. Texas was only able to score 25 points on Ohio State in 2005, and 7 in McCoy's first (important) start as a Longhorn. Maybe Heacock has pictures of Mack Brown making a blumpkin pie with a goat that he'll release if Mack ever beats us by more than three. Or something. The prognosis is still not good. I'll believe - hesitantly - in Heacock again if he can actually gameplan to stop this offense.

Statistical Analysis, Part One: Ohio State Defense

The first in a four part statistical analysis of each unit in the Texas-Ohio State Fiesta Bowl. Part one will deal with the Buckeye defense, part two the 'Horns offense, part three the Texas defense, and part four the Ohio State offense. Most will probably agree I'm not saving the best for last.

You want a legacy, boys, aside from two title game flops that weren't really your fault? Now's your shot. Do work, son(s).


Ohio State fans can be mostly sure what the media meme this year will be: Texas' speedy, versatile offense, laden with sure-fire first rounders will absolutely shred the overrated, slow, unathletic Ohio State defense, all of whom will be lucky to get drafted (but ignore the fact that we have two, possibly three of them going in the first round on all of our draft boards the man behind the curtain!)

Serious fans of college football know things aren't quite so simple. Outside of a debacle against USC, Ohio State's defense has been more or less impenetrable. While not a rabid pack of fuck lions in the vein of Alabama and USC, the Buckeyes have seen steady improvement throughout the season, the highlight of which was limiting Penn State's potent, versatile offense to just 13 points and one offensive touchdown (off of a turnover, no less) through four quarters in Columbus. Ohio State used a complex package of blitzes, man-to-man coverage and general luck with its usual soft zone in holding Penn State four touchdowns below its average score. Not only was this arguably the most impressive performance of the defense in the last three years, it was possibly the best coaching job Heacock has done since holding, interestingly enough, Vince Young-led Texas to 25 points in Columbus, a game also ulimately decided by turnovers. For once, I cannot lay the blame for a big game loss at the feet of both Jims, because Heacock did a heck of a job (Brownie), and I can't take anything away from his accomplishment. But across the year, the defense retained its bend-but-don't-break modus operandi, giving up yards aplenty but calming down and executing when it had to.

Statistical analysis means charts, or rather a spreadsheet. I have thrown out the Youngstown game, because a) it was a travesty that it was even scheduled and b) it was competitive for about fifteen seconds in the first quarter. Anyway, here we go. You can scroll right and left or up and down as need be.




(I am aware that the above chart is rather jankity in both look and feel, but it gets the point across. If you know of a better way to upload .xls files, I'd like to hear it. For now, we get sadness, despair and Google Docs. A screw- up I don't feel like correcting: APY in the first column is supposed to be ARY, or average rushing yards. For the dimmest of you out there, APY stands for average passing yards for the season)

I want to caution against excess optimism you may get from the USC game, mainly due to the fact that, simply eyeballing the stats, it doesn't look too bad. But no, if you remember the game, they are not. At no point in the game did USC have any trouble moving the ball with consistency against the Buckeye soft zone, at least while the game was still in doubt (i.e. up until the Rey-Rey pick six). But the ugliness of the final score cannot be put entirely on the defense; the offense turned the ball over and more often than not punted in situations that gave USC excellent field position. Like Florida and to a lesser extent LSU, USC enjoyed short fields and time-consuming drives.

Nonetheless, Ohio State's defense hasn't been anything short of impressive the rest of the year, though certainly lackluster at points. 200 rushing yards to Illinois is acceptable, but not encouraging. Wisconsin's penultimate drive in which they encountered little resistance from any part of the defense is troubling, especially against a "pro-style" (i.e. non-spread) offense that, if you listen to Ohio State fans, we "usually dominate" (meaning Lloyd-Carr era Michigan and Joe Pa's ponderous rock-throwing offenses of the early 2000's). But by and large, it's nitpicking. USC didn't have as good of a day as it might at first seem, short fields or not, and Penn State's passing attack was wholly shut down. Really, as you look across the season, no one passed all over the Buckeyes, and for the most part the last few years, limiting the opposing passing game has been Heacock's specialty, if not shutting it down entirely. Florida's spread barely cracked 200 against the Buckeyes, and Matt Flynn only tossed for 174 yards against the OSU secondary in LSU's title win. Historically, Ohio State is a very good team against the pass under Heacock. Against LSU, Florida and USC, short fields and offensive turnovers had as much to do with the ugly finals as bad defense did. Preventing short fields against the APOCB-certified Downright 'Donkulous (©) Texas offense will be key to Ohio State even keeping the game close, much less winning. Ironically, the onus is on the special teams to let the defense do what it does best: stop people in the red zone after long, sustained drives. It has a tough task against Jordan Shipley, bonafide white guy "possession receiver" with deceptive speed/surprising athleticism/incredible toughness, who single-handedly shifted momentum in both the OU and Texas Tech games.

Next, I'll be discussing Texas' potent, somewhat one-dimensional offense, and issuing an idiotic blanket prediction about how I think the two will match-up based on given evidence.

Joe Ohio State Message Board Denizen's Dissertation on the Ohio State Offense

Hello fellow BUCKEYE FANS, I'm Joe Ohio State Message Board Denizen and I've got somethin' I been wantin' to say for a really long TAHME.


ALRIGHT, we all know of this team's FAILURES on the BIGGEST STAGE the last few years. We know that due to Jim Tressel's CONSERVATIVE OFFENSIVE PHILOSIFY, WE HAVEN'T BEEN WINNIN' THE BIG GAMES AGAINST THE BIG BOYS. He has failed the PROGRAM, the BUCKEYE NATION, and most importantly of all, he has failed ME. He has SHAMED me in the presence of my NON-BUCKEYE FAN (AKA FAGS OLOLOLOLOL) COWORKERS. Now I'm gonna git to the defensive philosophy in my NEXT post, here I'm gonna tell Jim how he MUST RUN THE OFFENSE in the upcoming BOWL GAME AGAINST UT (LOL ONLY STEERS AND QUEERS OLOLOLOLOLOL)

1. Play with SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED. GET ALL OUR SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED ON THE FIELD.

2. PLAY AGGRESSIVE. 3rd and 1? Call a deep post pattern! Patton woulda done it! Ya gotta do the unexpected to win the unexpected, Jimbo!

(Ed. note: I shit you not, that last line was something I read on Scout shortly after the Penn State game. I can't find the link, though. I fear the thread - full of treasures similar to that one - was locked, and is lost forever. I don't know about you, but the minute I read it, it became the guiding philosophy of my life)

3. BE AGGRESSIVE! B-E AGGRESSIVE! This might seem simlar to my first point, but it's something we aren't enough of anymore. I wanna spread 'em out. I want to get 'em in space. I want us to UTILIZE our ATHLETES. I want catchphrases and overused football clichés!

4. RUN OPEN COMPETITION PRACTICES. It werks for USC, so it'll work for us! There's no way an entire offseason of practicing, drills, and meticulous analysis of players' abilities will let you create a bonafahde DEPTH CHART. YA GOTTA BENCH 'EM THE MOMENT THEY MAKE EVEN THE SMALLEST MISTAKE. WOODY WOULD APPROVE.

5. BE UNCONVENTIONAL. Everyone always be tellin' me that you got something you're hahdin' from us all Jim, and that ya been done doin' that since before we played the UNIVERSITY OF SPOILED CHILDREN OLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!1111 Well I'm not sure ah buy it anymoar. For the bowl game, I got some ideas for plays that I'm sure will work against the SHORTHORNS OLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!11one GET IT SHORTHORN = SMALL COCK OLOLOLOLOL!!!111one

a. Double reverse triple option flea flicker screen to Todd Boeckman. KEEP THE EYES OF TEXAS ON THE BACKFIELD, LOL! Then BOOM, Rehring and Co. are HUSTLIN' DOWNFIELD like DOUGGY DATS IN THE '06 FIESTA BOWL!

b. TACKLE ELIGIBLE PLAY - If Alex Boone getting consistently beat by speed rushers tells me anything, it is that he can tote the ball downfield with the best of him. Get our 300-pounders in space, Jim!!!!!!11one

c. ONCE TEXAS BITES ON PLAY A, ya gotta run the DOUBLE REVERSE TRIPE OPTION DUBBLE BUBBLE SCREEN TO LAMAAR THOMAS, cuz we all knows SPEED KILLS, and LaMaaaaarrr's got that SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED. I SEE HIS SPEED ALL THE TIME ON CAMPUS WHEN I PARK MY CAR ILLEGALLY BY THE CENTRAL CLASSROOM BUILDING, MASSAGE MY MUSTACHE AND SLOWLY SLIDE MY HANDS DOWN MY LEVI'S AS I WATCH HIM HURRY TO CLASS

*ahem*

Lastly, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, YOU CAN NOT FAIL BUCKEYE NATION AGAIN, JIM. WE DESERVE A BOWL WIN, AND NOTHING LESS. Anything short of it, and you can go shake John Cooper's hand at the unemployment office NEXT SEASON, because you're a massive FAILURE of a coach and my entire OPINION of you hinges on this ONE GAME.

GO BUCKS, scUM sucks ROFLMAOPWNED!

December 9th, 2008 - the Day America Fucking Died

Or was at least put on life support. This is a fucking travesty. They've got your wife. Not married, you say?

YOU ARE NOW.


TO AMERICA.

VOTE FREEDOM

VOTE AMERICA

VOTE 7 lb, 6 oz BABY JESUS, MOM, APPLE PIE.

VOTE LEMAN, MOTHERFUCKERS.

You don't want his pure American red, white and blue blood all over your hands, do you?

It's Tejas

"Watch this, Lis. You can actually pinpoint the second his heart rips in half."

While it is far from the best of all possible match-ups, Ohio State has drawn a relatively favorable one in Texas. In the Fiesta bowl, too, where we had so much success before the Game That Shall Not Be Named, though Buckeye partisans are sure to point out that that wasn't actually the Fiesta Bowl, just a national championship game played at the Fiesta Bowl site. Whatev. What matters is Ohio State is 3-1 in Tempe, and the last four trips there have showcased partisan Buckeye crowds. Given the results of the last two bowl games and the spiraling deathstorm that the gubmint calls an economy, bowl attendance for Ohio State is likely to take a hit. Yes, the Buckeyes are typically one of the best traveling fanbases, but so is Texas, and I'd be shocked in the crowd isn't basically split down the middle.

I like this match-up for a number of reasons. First, Texas has a terrific fanbase. I went to the game in '05 and by far they were the best of any visiting group of fans. Predictably, they were treated awfully by most of Buckeye nation, but the hilljacks Ohio State fans I sat near were very cordial to the visitors. The atmosphere was suitably tense for most of the game, but the vulgar language was directed toward the field (three audible "RIP HIS FUCKING HEAD OFF"-s when Vince Young toted the ball), and not at the opposing fans, which was nice. The horror stories I've heard from that night are undoubtedly true, but it seems Texas fans in my section took it in stride if they were victimized in any way.

Second, Texas' defense leaves a lot to be desired. They're vastly improved from last year, given the acquisition of the Right Honourable Boom Motherfucker, Esq., head coach-in-waiting and card-carrying twisted psycho. Nonetheless, Texas has been a bend-but-don't-break defense for most of the year, getting aggressive when need be but giving up yards in bunches, mostly through the air.

Third, Texas has one thing it does really well on offense, and that is airing it out. RoboColt completes roughly 77 percent of his passes last I checked, but (probably) hasn't seen a secondary as good as Ohio State's all year. Secondly, Texas doesn't have many burners in the vein of Damien Williams from SC or Percy Harvin from Florida. They're there, but they're either young or not starting. I fully expect Texas to put as much speed on the field as it can against Ohio State, because while the Buckeyes don't lack speed (grr), they have had trouble stopping speedsters with their soft zone approach, which more often than not makes the Buckeyes look slow.

Fourth, there is one team Texas played all year that looks certifiably like Ohio State's offense, and it's Oklahoma State. Texas barely beat Okie State 28-24 in Austin. The same Okie State team traveled to Lubbock weeks later and found itself the victim of a 35-point beatdown at the hands of Texas Tech. Okie State is not particularly good. There is a problem: Okie State has a passing game. Texas could not stack the box against Okie State because Zac Robinson is a true dual threat with a playmaker like Dez Bryant to throw to, unlike the One at this point in his career. Ohio State absolutely must attack Texas' secondary, the weakest part of the defense, in order to win. If they cannot do this, Texas will stack the box, like Penn State and USC, and dare Ohio State to throw its way to a win. Terrelle Pryor has not shown he can do that yet. If there is any time for the Ohio State passing game's coming out party against a sub-par pass defense, it is now.

This is by far the most winnable BCS game in which Ohio State could have landed. Those of you who care about our program's "reputation" should enjoy this match-up as a chance for Ohio State to show it really can beat the Big Boys. By no means is Texas overrated, or is Ohio State underrated. These teams are where they deserve to be in the polls. The line is currently at 10 and will likely move up come game time. This game is on the coaching staff, because this team is undoubtedly talented enough to win this game, and every game it had on its schedule for that matter, but I digress. The coordinators have one last chance to impress. Regardless of how this game goes, I'd like to see them gone gone gone in the offseason. But a win against a genuinely good team earns them a little of our patience. I fully expect them, when given said patience, to flush the opportunities it presents down the toilet come September, but maybe that's just me.

In the coming weeks I'll be doing unit breakdowns and match-ups as bowl preview. I fully expect analysis of the facts to improve my outlook of the game, but I caution against any and all optimism on the grounds that I grew more optimistic while examining the stats prior to the LSU game last year, and then reality promptly took a nice giant nutty shit on my happy little world come January 7th.

Sittin' on top of the world, part 3

Part three of a three-part series of incoherent rants, jumbled musings and confused bullhockey about the last three seasons. Highlighted here is the Season of Upstarts and Broken Hearts, 2008.


So, it was 2008, I guess. We had a pretty good football team coming in, I guess. Number three in the country or something. I wasn't ready to get excited about much of anything, because regardless of how the season began and where we ranked in whatever preseason poll was being thrown out based entirely on program reputation, the fate of the entire season hinged on one game. In a down conference, after two years of embarassment, Ohio State had one shot to "redeem itself". As most of you probably already know, it did not. In the wake: "sputtering rage, gibbering condemnation and resigned ennui" as That Dirty Hippie Up North so eloquently put it. The one thing I actually cheered about all night was when Marcus Freeman finally got to Mark 'Dirté' Sanchez on a 4th down sack, when the game was already over, and the Humanitarian was running up the score to impress the voters. I don't have anything against Carroll or USC or running up the score; I just simply pumped my fist and let out a little, defeated "yeah!" from the comfort of my living room couch. Looking back at this, I realize now why exactly I was cheering a great play by a team down 32 points: it still had some measure of fight left in it. Say what you will about Heacock, Bollman, the Vest and their failures on the national stage and I will probably agree with 90% of it. But don't you ever knock this group of seniors for anything outside of the occasional blown assignment or missed block. Marcus Freeman, James Laurinaitis, Alex Boone, Malcolm Jenkins, and every other senior on that roster has invested anywhere from 4 to 6 years in the program, and every single one of them deserves our admiration, thanks, and utmost respect for representing the university most of you attended and nearly all of my readers (all three of you) cheer for. Marcus Freeman had been relegated to pass coverage and blitzing on only the most obvious downs all night, and even though it was hopeless and there was nothing but embarassment and shame and resigned ennuie to be had after this game, he still fought to the end as best he could. Like a fucking warrior-poet.

Ohio State again had a shot at redeeming this season if not the program as a whole in its night home game against Penn State. In a game I still can't entirely explain, the Ohio State defense held up against an offense that looked unstoppable against everyone save a fluky game against Purdue. Heacock, despite Penn State's athletic WRs and RBs and spread offense, did not chicken out and play soft. He played man on occasion, blitzed on unconventional downs, and the defensive line actually got pressure - plenty of it -on Daryl Clark. Penn State was held to its lowest scoring output of the season, and needed two freshman mistakes by the One to get out of Columbus alive. For the third time in 2008, Ohio State was held without an offensive touchdown. The best game Jim Heacock had coached since Texas in 2005 was ignored largely because of the failures of Jim Bollman's side of the ball. But that loss, and the other offensive woes, can not easily be laid entirely at the feet of Jim Bollman. After all, he's a glorified line coach. He's Mike Debord with a Buckstache. Tressel is the balla, shot-calla of the offense. He chooses the plays. Apparently, Bollman literally suggests three or four plays and Tressel just picks one. Not only is this somewhat disturbing, it's disheartening that Bollman is receiving criticism, much like Ohio State, over something he doesn't have as much control over as people would like to believe. The rest of Ohio State's season was so nondescript I can sum every game up in basically one sentence: Pryor attempts less than 15 passes, Beanie Wells solidifies his draft stock when playing, the running game muddles along okay without him, and the offensive line consistently gets owned by the 2-star and 3-star Jimmies and Joes of Northwestern and Ohio. Terrelle Pryor has been nothing but impressive. He has made his freshman mistakes - taking large, drive-killing sacks chief among them - but they have not come in the form of constant turnovers, or really anything that would make you even begin to think he might not be the long-term answer at QB. Other youngsters impressed, Dan Herron and Michael Brewster chief among them, and Jermale "the Jackhammer" Hines looked impressive filling in for Kurt Coleman when he could. It was by no means a youth movement, but it was encouraging to see the next iteration of Ohio State football taking shape in these younger players.

The season was a disappointment. I don't think anyone can argue around that. This was the most talented team Jim Tressel has coached. Outside of a tough road date at USC, it was reasonable to expect an undefeated season. We had a sixth year (!) senior at quarterback, three seniors on the offensive line, arguably the best cover corner in the country, and a top-5 linebacker corps. Typically, the expectations of the Ohio State fanbase are a bit much, to put it lightly. There are many in our fanbase who think it is our birthright to go undefeated every year and that anything less is simply unacceptable. Personally, I am under no illusions that Ohio State fans are "owed" anything, or that even while donating millions of dollars to the AD that they "deserve" something. There is a difference between expectations and demands. I expected an undefeated season, but I'm not opening up Lane Avenue Torch and Pitfork over a two-loss season.

Nonetheless - and this is something I think all CFB fans can agree on - Ohio State is developing a character, and this year did nothing but reinforce it. Come the big games against the supposed big boys, Ohio State crumples. It fails. It dies trying. Whatever happens, it defies simple explanation. Some attempt to take the easy route and blame Ohio State's "lack of athleticism" (Mark May, Colin Cowherd, Todd McShay) even while their colleagues continually place Ohio State players at or near the top of their NFL draft boards at basically every position. Others point to Ohio State's soft conference schedule, something over which the Buckeyes have no control. In 2007, people pointed to the lackluster OOC schedule, featuring two macrifices, a D-1AA team and a Washington game scheduled years ago, shortly after Washington won a Rose Bowl. Again, this isn't something Ohio State can easily control. Most of the Ohio State fanbase faults the two coordinators: Jim Bollman and Jim Heacock. These two are easy targets, given their staid, consistent-yet-underwhelming schemes and the general perception that Tressel is still one of the top-five coaches in America.

As usual, the truth lies somewhere in the middle of that clusterfuck. I buy arguments regarding Ohio State's conference being down because the counter-argument literally doesn't exist, I buy arguments about the two coordinators, and I can see why people think Ohio State lacks athletes, even though to do so, I must forget most of what I know about football, defensive and offensive schemes, gap assignments, reads, so on and so forth. The problem is not, and will probably never be a lack of athletes. There is no unifying cause of Ohio State's problems in the "big game", but I do think these problems will begin to be addressed by doing the following.

1. Give Heacock and Bollman a nice, long sabbatical/vacay in Naples, and bar them from entering the state of Ohio for any reason other than to visit family ever again.

2. Tressel must cede playcalling to Bollman's replacement. He will be compensated with a lifetime supply of Bonbons and a private Beach Boys (what's left of them) concert.

3. Hire Mike Barwis or one of the wolves who raised him as S+C coach. Steve Rehring, in both attitude and physical shape, is the embodiment of everything wrong with the Ohio State offensive line. In the offseason, he claimed he should be given time off from practice because he's been their for four years and knows what's going on. In 2007, he showed up to camp at a nice, lean 350 fucking pounds and lost his starting job as a result (which he would win back after dropping supposedly 30, maybe 10-15 lbs). The entire offensive line is resting on laurels it doesn't even have.

Sigh. I should probably wrap this up, shouldn't I?

The last three years have been interesting, to say the least, if you're an Ohio State fan. It all started with a monumental win at 2nd-ranked Texas in 2006, and three years later, it's come full circle to a rubber match with the Longhorns in the Fiesta Bowl. Many, including myself to some extent, won't give the Buckeyes a chance. 90% of the idiots who don't give Ohio State a chance will claim that Ohio State "can't win the Big Game", while simultaneously calling this a "rubber match" after Ohio State 24-7 triumph in 1 vs. 2 in Austin (seems like a somewhat big game) and Texas' 25-22 escape from Columbus in a game in which both teams were also ranked in the top ten. This era of Ohio State football isn't set in stone yet, despite all the negativity surrounding the program and its players. The coaching staff must put together one of the best gameplans they have in their time here, to send these seniors, ones that they have failed four consecutive times in the biggest games of their lives, off on a high note. If anyone is owed anything, it's these guys:

Sittin' on top of the world, part 2

Part two of a three-part series of incoherent rants, jumbled musings and confused bullhockey about the last three seasons. Highlighted here is the Season of Unfulfilled Promise, 2007.

So the fluke may have been just that, a fluke. We'd never lose a game that ugly under Tressel again, for reasons I can no longer scrounge from what remains of my seventeen year old self. It simply couldn't happen again, could it? We're the elite of the elite, a top 5 program, and nothing can slow us down, right?

Well, for the first eight games, 2007 seemed to return to the storybook sensibility that 2006 often portrayed up until the brutal, final end. Bruised and battered from humiliating defeat, a young team was rising to the occasion to redeem itself and the program for one massive, recent failure that shamed them (unfairly) in the eyes of the nation. Led by yet another in a long line of big, bruising Buckeye running backs, an affable, fifth-year (!) junior at quarterback and a downright sick defense, the men of the Scarlet and Gray were carving out a warpath to New Orleans, and they were hellbent on bringing back the crystal to its rightful home. That yarn culminated in a 37-17 prison rape of Penn State in Happy Valley. Todd Boeckman put Troy Smith's performance in '05 to even greater shame, Thunderous McTankly could not be stopped by the best run defense the Buckeyes would play all year, and the passing game finally showed signs of being a genuine threat, something other teams actually have to worry about. The defense gave up some yards to Penn State, but they "always ran on us", so it was forgivable, ya know?

Two weeks later, [Name Redacted] and the fighting [Redacted]i came into Columbus with two losses: to middling Michigan and Iowa teams. In quite possibly the strangest choice of defense in his entire time at Ohio State (outside the Florida game, of course), Heacock chose to run almost exclusively soft zone against Juice Williams, one of the most mistake-prone quarterbacks this side of Chris Leak. Blitzing only on obvious passing downs (a meme that will be reinforced later on), Juice was asked to make simple reads and simply run to the side they're not blitzing on when said reads were covered. Thus, we have the easiest 4 TD passing day Juice Williams has probably ever had. Maddeningly, Jokester Jim number two chose to blitz on seemingly every down on Illinois's final possession, and, enragingly (that's a word now), all Juice had to do was run where there wasn't a LB blitz. That's it. Ohio State gave him the easiest first downs of his life, and he took them without question. But to blame this game on Jokester Jim number two and Jokester Jim number two alone is unfair, and ignorant of a number of other factors I don't feel like listing because for me the grief is still too near oh fuck it here they are: Todd Boeckman threw three picks, three defensive breakdowns and one terrible fumble call by a corrupt ref and simply a better game from the Illini gave Illinois the win. It's as simple as that. Despite their thuggish actions after the game, I hold no grudges to Illinois for exploiting the second-dumbest defensive scheme I've seen.

Sigh.

So you can tell that loss still sticks with me. Losing to Ron Tiberius* Zook at home is something that should scar anyone for life, even if you're a Northwestern fan (my condolences).

*Not really his middle name, but should be

You know the rest of the season. Ohio State rode Thunderous McTankly to a 14-3 win at Michigan, Pandora's box was opened in the intervening weeks: War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, American Idol, and Ohio State finding its way back to the title game. Against an SEC team.

Hell, LSU looked beatable. Darren McFadden beat them By His Own Damn Self, and so did a meh Kentucky team. Surely we're better than Kentucky?

Turns out, not so much. After another fast start, the Buckeyes crumpled, and Tressel and Heacock went into their respect run-run-pass and soft-zone-obvious-blitz shells after LSU came back and left a big ol' mushroom print on Ohio State's hopes of actually winning. I don't know why they did it, I don't care to know why they did it, they did it, it sucked, life sucks, and we're never gonna fucking win a bowl game against these mulleted hicks and their fried food and their shitty T-birds and their shitty Kenny Chesney and fucking Christ next year better fucking redeem us.

I stopped thinking that way the next day. Well, at least the redemption part. I realized that as much as I love and support the players on this team, there is a chance that, like God Himself Bruce Springsteen once sang, their best will never be good enough. I knew it was a little early to declare this special group of players; Malcolm Jenkins, James Laurinaitis, Alex Boone, and the rest to be - for lack of a better term - cursed. To this day I still don't think they are, because since then I've realized the fault does not lie entirely with the players and the multiple first-day draft picks on both sides of the ball. The problem is increasingly coming from the top, and no matter how much talent is being brought in, this problem can not be covered by recruiting the daylights out of the "speed states" and grabbing three of the best offensive tackles in the latest recruiting class.

This is already too long, but as a footnote, you may have noticed a distinct lack of funny in this piece. This season was unbelievably frustrating because it showed what this team can be at its highest point (Penn State) and the very lowest (Illinois, LSU), and the timespan between those highs and lows was short and jarring. Thus, the humor, what little their was, didn't come easy.

I want to point out that I have never felt a sense of entitlement for this program. I have never believed that since I spend so much money on Ohio State merchandise and because my father donated something like 1/10th of his company's worth to the University, that the program, or the players, owe me a damn thing. Even when I was young and (less) stupid, this concept never entered my mind. I owe far more to this program for great memories of great football than it does for my meager contributions. When I call for the heads of certain coaches in the final installment of this series, it will not be because I "demand" it or I find the current (very good) state of Ohio State football "unacceptable". Think of them more as business recommendations, or how the program can improve its standing by trimming the fat, literally and figuratively. There is a particular path we don't want to go down, and that is the path of Michigan and Florida State - one of cronyism, nepotism, arrogance, misplaced trust and blind faith that because we are good we will always be good and nothing will ever change forever and ever amen lalalalalalalala I can't hear you we're the elite of the elite no matter what happens lalalalalala.

You get the point. I hope.

Sittin' on top of the world, part 1

The first in a three part series about - you guessed it - the last three years of Ohio State football

November 18, 2006. If you're an Ohio State fan and that date does not resonate with you in some way, you are dead to me, and the rest of the fan base. Number one versus number two, two evenly matched, excellent teams trading body blows for four quarters and the good guys emerging victorious. I was sitting there, Section 10B, row 13, seat 35, both arms raised in the air in a show of absolute joy - all my doubts, fears, and questions about the team erased with this one seemingly final triumph - as Antonio Pittman took the ball left for a first down, defiantly raising his muscular arm into the air and extending his index finger into the crisp autumn Columbus air. Only one more game to go and then we can officially call this the golden era of Ohio State football.

I was also there, couch, middle of my living room, Worthington, Ohio on January 8th, 2007, when the courage of men failed. When we forsook our friends and broke all bonds of fellowship. An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the age of men came crashing down.

Alright, it wasn't that bad. But nonetheless, the dream season came to an end with both the deadening bang of 41-14 and the whimper of David Patterson crying on the sidelines. 22 angry alligators swallowed up the Book of Dreams before the last page could be written. I bear Florida no grudges - they took advantage of our weaknesses and played to their strengths. Despite what people say about them, the Gator fans who lived in Columbus showed a lot of class with their win, even when the final score essentially demanded a heavy round of razzing for their Ohio State fan friends. I can't say I wouldn't have talked occasional shit to them had the score been reversed, though I know I would have done it facetiously.

The ensuing offseason was an odd one. 41-14 was the 4114lb gorilla in the room, taking a giant dump all over great memories from the win at Texas and Buckageddon and flinging monstrous flecks of shit at optimism for the upcoming season, which looked to be a year of heavy rebuilding before the big one in 2008.

But there was an undeniable seed planted. Whatever worked against a down Big Ten and a rebuilding Texas didn't work - like, at all - against a Florida team that struggled to put away basically everyone it played. Florida walked into Tempe and beat #1 Ohio State, with Troy, Teddy Ballgame, Gonzo, Little Animal, MJ, Alex Boone, and Beanie freaking Wells by as much as it had beaten Southern Miss (Dr. S, if you're reading this, I mean no offense). While many fans were willing to call the game a fluke, blaming it on Troy Smith and his tasty cheeseburgers, and the offensive line and their tasty baconchocolatecakecoronoarystravaganzas, and the general fact that most of the time no one gives a team a change in a game, said chance-less team comes out and after four quarters, all of the favored's team base are belong to them. Personally, I didn't know what to think. My Scout and Rivals-addled 17 year old brain called it was "a fluke", insisting that 9 times out of ten Ohio State would win that game. This is what Scout does to you, people. That is your brain on Scout. I stopped reading and contributing consistently to Scout the day after the championship game. I couldn't bring myself to stop reading and posting altogether until sometime in the next season, unfortunately.

2006 ended in disappointment. 2007 didn't have much promise, being a rebuilding year with seemingly tough games at Penn State and Michigan. If there was any time to be fatalistic about the team if not the program, this was probably it. I missed the boat. I didn't think the team would be great, but I didn't think the program was dead either. Just another 10-2 season and a BCS game, no?

What the fuck, Scout?

So I made the mistake of dropping by the Ohio State Scout website today, only to see that recruiting has hit a new high (low?) in overall creepiness. The young man above is a freshman for an Ohio high school football team. A freaking freshman. I could not tell you which high school he plays for, because I am not a pederast. Look, I know the guys at Scout have jobs to do and probably get paid for well for what they do, but come on. He's a freshman, damn it. The kid is about five minutes older than my youngest cousin, someone I remember as a newborn. Soon he'll get hair in funny places and start thinking about girls.

I'm exaggerating, but before this kid has had to memorize the Preamble, he's got 40 year old dudes, Scouts and fans of teams he may or may not be interested in salivating over his "athletic ability", his "hip swivel" and his "body control". Calm down, you dirty pedos, and at least wait till the kid is within shouting distance of 18 so he can immediately recognize your sweaty, fat, poorly-mustachioed asses for what you are, answer your questions, and avoid your shit until signing day.




"Hip swivel", dude.

Mardy Gilyard's name rhymes with retar- oh, wait.

So, I was looking to do a very juvenile, sophomoric hitpiece on Cincinnati Bearcats Wide Receiver Mardy Gilyard for his comments in this video:



(I don't know what's with the white space on the video above, apparently directly copying the embed code from palestra breaks the internets)


Having heard of him only in passing ESPN highlights prior to this game, I was getting ready to light into him for calling out a team that met his own as recently as 2006 in a 37-7 Ohio State pasting. Gilyard, for some reason, had redshirted that year (likely out of fear of being covered by the truely fearsome - I'm dead serious raight hurr - Antonio Smith, a former walk-on). Anyway, prior to finding the video embedded above, I found this:



And I stopped. I had an entire diatribe cooked up specifically for Mardy McFly Gilyard. Instead, I'll talk about one thing he said and approach it reasonably. Have no fear: "reason" and "rationality" have little place in Ohio State fandom, and accordingly, will be shown the door - for a while - after this post.

Gilyard alleges that UC is seen as a little brother to big bad Ohio State. Not only has no one on Ohio State's current roster or coaching staff labeled them as such, but Cincinnati football is so far removed from the football consciousness of the state that the last time these teams met, no one considered it a rivalry. Like, at all. Cincinnati scored the first touchdown and immediately began supplying the butt to Troy, Teddy and Co. and Ohio State won in a walk typical of a MACrifice.

This all happened after Cincinnati nearly knocked Special K and the Silver Bullets' title run clean off the tracks in 2002, when a last-minute interception prevented a Cincinnati touchdown and sealed the Ohio State win, preserving the Greatest Season in the History of Sport (Marty Schottenheimer Calls It Sport, So I Call It Sport). This is not a rivalry even on par with the joke that is the MSU-UM rivalry, in which UM dominates and MSU picks up the scraps when UM is down. There is as much of a rivalry between Ohio State and Cincy as there is between Florida and USF. It simply doesn't exist. Don't try to start one by being dbags and calling us out. Penn State has tried that and we (or at least I) still don't really consider it a rivalry game, hurdled bags of piss or no. Don't be Penn State. The next thing you know Brian Kelly will develop an insatiable hunger for brains and half your starting line-up will be behind bars. And Italian. Don't be Penn State.

That's my closest approximation of reasonableness, by the way.

Buckeye (Bowl) Breakdown

Okay, since I was dumb enough to start this blog after Ohio State's football season has ended, I figured I should first discuss a topic most relevant to the team: the bowl picture. Things cleared up all nice and tidy-like with Oregon's successful Rape of the Oregon State Beavers (hurr hurr durr Beavers) and Pillage of greater Corvallis (is Corvallis big enough to justify a "greater"?). The 65-38 blowout knocked the Beavers out of their potential Rose Bowl grudge match against Penn SHTAAAAAAAATE, and vaulted both Ohio State and Boise State into the at-large picture.

Ohio State's most likely destination, should they land in the BCS, will be either the Fiesta Bowl or the Sugar Bowl. Since the BCS rotates the order of bowl picks year-by-year, each year a different BCS bowl picks first. This year's it the Fiesta. Assuming Oklahoma wins the Big 12 championship game, it'll land in the MNC to play the winner of the SEC championship game. Thusly, all the questions of whether or not anemic offenses in the SEC are the result of superb, NFL talent-laden defenses and whether or not the outright-redonkulous offenses of the Big 12 are the result of lackluster defenses will be answered forever and ever amen and annoying fans on both sides will shut the fuck up and stop bothering people who aren't even fans of teams in their conference some of whom don't know the first damn thing about football and most of whom couldn't give less of a shit and we'll never again have to have these stupid distance pissing contests that would make Scout and Rivals message board pedophiles douchebags proud. Right.

Anyway, the Fiesta picks first, remember? Chances are good that the Fiesta Bowl officials are going to remember how Ohio State fans made Tempe a Blood Orgy The University of Ohio State at Tempe in 2002, 2003, 2005, and 2006, and will snatch us right up to be led to the slaughter at the hands of Texas or Texas Tech (fuck you and your archaic championship system, Big 12). Bring your daught-ah, bring your daught-ah, and all that:

Failing that, the Sugar bowl will take Ohio State, pairing them off against the SEC runner-up. The thinking here will likely be "how can we improve the image of a conference whose probable champion lost at home to Count Giggity and LOL Miss"? The answer: pair them up with an Ohio State team that still sees something useful in the services of the Jokester Jims. Who, you ask? Jim Bollman and his nefarious Bucktache and Jim Heacock and his cute daughter undying, desperate, unbridled passion for deploying the soft zone against any team with any talent not named Penn SHTAAAAAAAAAATE. This Deadly Alliance was largely the undoing of Ohio State in the last two title games and oh yeah, That One Game Out West of which we do not speak (except to bitch and moan). I'm willing to wager that, in order to disrupt a once-unthinkable crisis of confidence in backwater SEC country, the Sugar Bowl will take an Ohio State team that probably isn't deserving of a BCS berth.

If the world ends and Boise State and Utah are both selected over the Buckeyes, hope will renew, as we would fall to either the Orange or Capital One Bowls, both winnable. The OB would pit the Buckeyes against the winner of the ACC championship; either Boston College or Va Tech. This is not likely, as Cincinnati, Big East champ is much more likely to fall into this spot because there isn't anywhere else they would fit in the BCS easily. The Capital One bowl might not sound sexy now that the Buckeyes look to be BCS bound, but, in this intrepid blogger's opinion, is the most likely to yield a win, because Georgia looked erm, beatable, against Georgia Tech this last week.

The Georgia Tech that beat Wofford.

By three points.

Wofford.

Three points.

TL;DR: We're headed to Tempe, Nawlins, possibly even Orlando for New Years. Wherever you go, bring the lube.

It is time.

I've been meaning to start an Ohio State football blog for a long time. As a drive-by commenter on various CFB blogs for the last year or so, I've come to know and appreciate understand acknowledge the art personal pastime (like masturbating, but with something less meaningful to show for it at the end) of blogging. So, I'm giving it a shot myself.

Let's get a few things out of the way first: I am an Ohio State football fan, and have been for all of my adult life. Why not all of my life, you ask? Because I was the fat geeky kid in elementary school who got picked on by the Youth Boosters football players for being fat and geeky. I'm not bitter; I deserved it. Were I in their position I can't say with any authority that I would have done any differently. Picking on fat people is funny, damn it. Don't chastise me, you know for three years or moe you've been cracking fat jokes every time Notre Dame, Kansas, Maryland, Toledo, or Tennessee hit the field. Don't be frontin'. Anyway, I was butthurt about the fat jokes as a kid and thus didn't care much for the sport they played. I was young, and that means I was dumb.

Anyway, I became a football fan at the right time: 2001, on the eve of the Greatest Football Season Ever in the History of Sport (Marty Schottenheimer Call It Sport, so I Call It Sport). Sure, we had to watch a second straight heartbreaking loss to an SEC team in the bowl game (ARGH FORESHADOWING ARGH), but we beat Michigan with our backup quarterback we're pulling in the No. 1 guy on the FBI's most wanted list Scout and Rivals' player rankings, and boy oh boy Mike Doss was coming back and something special was brewing.

Fourteen straight coronaries later, Jim Tressel and the ragtag band of overperforming misfits known as Special K and the Silver Bullets were hoisting the trophy at midfield in Tempe, Arizona. I was hooked.

I'd say that I've been with this team through thick and thin, but I have to be brutally candid with you: I've never seen thick. The worst season Ohio State has endured, record-wise, since 2001 is a middling 8-4 season with a young team and an upset win over the Dread Hosts of Lloyd the Deceiver Michigan. When your toughest times are ugly losses in national title games, you've got it pretty good, comparatively. While I hesitate to call this a golden era of Ohio State football, it's something special that relative newcomers like me should appreciate. This blog will do all it can to do just that, hopefully with humor, candor, and a realistic perspective on the Best Damn Football Team in the Land.