Showing posts with label Lord of the Rings quotes are never out of place. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lord of the Rings quotes are never out of place. Show all posts

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Stalking Reviewing the Ohio State recruiting class of 2009: Runningbacks, receivers, tight end


Duron "the Deathless" Carter: all he may or may not do is catch touchdowns

The most surprising part of this particular recruiting class, for me and for others perturbed by the struggles of the offense, is the amount of skill position players signing up to play for an offense that has totaled 75 points in its last five games of national consequence. Were I a high school recruit (who isn't necessarily a lifelong Ohio State fan), I would see absolutely nothing inviting about the Ohio State offense if I were not a bruising power back like Chris Wells (or, more appropriately for this class, the wonderfully-monikered Carlos Hyde). But clearly I am not, nor was I ever a sought-after high school recruit, because no one recruits 5'9" tight ends. James Jackson, Duron Carter, Jaamal Berry, and a host of other guys who probably should have picked an offensive juggernaut that better suits their talents, chose the Buckeyes, probably hoping for something a little more impressive than, say three points in yet another game of the century. Alright, awesome. I'll be amped when we show we can actually get them the ball in anything other than a five-yard out or an off-tackle left.

Running back gets a major boost in this class, arguably the biggest out of any offensive position. Daniel Faraday Herron has next year's starting job essentially locked up; his 2nd-half performance against Texas was nothing short of remarkable given the strength of Texas' run D and sudden way in which it happened. Behind "Boom", however, it's Brandon Saine and the freshmen. If those freshmen were not phenomenally talented, I'd say this might represent a problem area for the Buckeyes.

However, Jaamal Berry, Carlos Hyde, and Jordan Hall all bring different skill sets into a backfield that's already the envy of quite a few teams. Given how Jim Tressel has managed his talent lately - rotationally - I would not find it particularly surprising to see a steady rotation behind Herron, with Saine getting most of the early looks to see if he has progressed at all. If he has, he'll probably earn a spot as the spell back. If he has not, then I expect to see a lot more Carlos Hyde than Jaamal Berry in his stead. Hyde is another Florida product who looks and runs like Beanie Wells, at 240 pounds with (reported) 4.5 speed. He is the prototypical feature back of the Ohio State offense, and it's all but certain he'll make an instant impact in short yardage situation, not unlike McTankly himself in his freshman year.

The predicted lack of playing time is not a knock on Jaamal Berry; he's exorbitantly talented, but he isn't a Jim Tressel running back. Jim Tressel running backs have to be able to consistently execute the disgustingly cro-mag dive, draw, and occasional tricksy off-tackle grunt work, or they won't see the field much at all. Berry, like Maurice Wells, is simply not that type of back. He'll get some reps in the latter stages of blowouts his first year, but unless he bulks up considerably and shows an ability to break an awful lot of tackles - something he'll probably have to do a lot behind another mediocre Jim Bollman offensive line - he'll probably be relegated to a Maurice Wells-like role for his entire career. This is largely due to an archaic offensive philosophy that does not recognize the values and completely different skill set offered by supposed "scatbacks" like Wells and Berry. Jordan Hall, depending on the development of the other RBs, is a probable redshirt, unless of course he burns it on worthless late-game reps like Keith Wells did last year. I for one hope he only burns the redshirt in case of another catastrophic injury at the tailback position.

The 2009 class also boasted three talented wideouts, icing on the cake of an already deep set of WRs. I hesitate to believe any of these guys will make an early impact, partly because Ohio State is already deep at wide receivers, but mostly because Ohio State still lacks a truly consistent passing game. Outside of Troy Smith's senior year, this has consistently been the case, even with three first-round wideouts lining up in the Scarlet and Gray in 2005. Anyway, I digress. Duron Carter seems to be the focus of the hype for two reasons: he's rather large (anywhere from 6-3 to 6-5 according to various scouting sites), and he's the son of former Buckeye great Cris Carter, who only caught touchdowns in four years (technically three *tugging at collar Dave Letterman-style*) at Ohio State. The main knock on Carter is his perceived lack of ESS EEE SEEEE speed (despite an Auburn offer), something the Ohio State receiving corps certainly does not lack with Lamaar Thomas , Ray Small, Taurian Washington, and a host of other young burners waiting in the wings. Carter, along with Jake Stoneburner, brings size to a receiving corps that has everything but that particular attribute going for them. While I don't expect an immediate impact from him, it will be exciting to watch him progress.

James Jackson is the burner of the group; both he and Jaamal Berry boasted 4.3 (reported, I cannot stress that enough) 40 times, and he sported offers from Michigan, Bama, Iowa and a host of other smaller schools. The Ohio State receiving corps, contrary to popular opinion, is quick, speedy, athletic, however you want to put it. Jackson adds to this. Whatever the criticism on the field is next year, chances are good none of the Scout and Rivals retards will be complaining about "not enough speed on the field", whatever the fuck that means, if Jackson, Thomas et al. see significant playing time in the wake of Robiskie and Hartline's departures.

Chris Fields is the lesser known prospect of the three; but the general theme of his recruitment was his "big-play ability", which I assume means his ability to catch the ball well downfield. How important this ability is will be seen, because it is entirely dependent on Ohio State developing that downfield passing game we've been hearing about so much. Good chance of a redshirt.

And not that I expect him to ever do anything other than block, but Ohio State did pick up a tight end, the could-you-be-any-more-whitely-named Reid Fragel, who'll get to the whole football thing after he wraps up the LAX tournament and downs a few Natties with his boys, brah. Okay, I have no idea if Reid is a bromosexual, but his name practically demands it, doesn';t it? Scout lauds his blocking ability among other things, which will, of course, be key in a Jim Tressel offense. Reid follows in a long line of big, awkward white dudes playing the TE position at OSU, and is probably going to be Ballard's successor as another glorified tackle. Interesting note: they actually say he has "deceptive speed" on his Scout profile, which is easily the most common keyword for "boy, this guy is white". And he is. Oh yes, he is. I don't expect him to redshirt, but it all really depends on what the Ohio State coaching staff wants out of Jake Stoneburner. Stoneburner was quoted as saying he expects to play wide receiver during his recruitment, but rumbling out of preseason camp last year had him playing TE and redshirting to gain muscle mass and possibly, gosh, add a nice weapon at the TE position that Ohio State might actually use (!). If Stoneburner and Ballard are your starting TEs, the chances Fragel takes a redshirt go up exponentially, but knowing Jim Tressel's love of three TE-sets, I'm sure Andrew Miller and Fragel will rotate as the third guy for most of next season.

Next up: the linebackers, the secondary, and the curious case of Kenny Guiton.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

I wasn't aware Texas recruited from Outworld


That has to be some sort of recruiting violation. When Mack Brown pulled in the "26-year old" (immortal) Outworld Sorcerer and Necromancer Quan Chi in 2001 as a WR, NAMBLA recruiting services somehow missed it as quite possibly the steal of the decade. You see, Quan "Cosby" has no use for your "route-running" or your "zone defense", aspects of a merely mortal existence, instead utilizing his teleportation ability like so:




Anderson Russell's bicycle kicks do not faze the Quan

As you saw during last night's game, Quan teleported to the perfect spot, equidistant between Anderson Russell and Marcus Freeman, tossed a random giant fucking screaming green skull Anderson's way, and sped into the end zone before you can say "Mortal Kombat 4 fucking sucked and so did its sequels". That shit's not fair. That has to be like, a penalty or something. The refs were handing those out like candy yesterday, but up and disappeared right then. I guess the GFSGS got to them as well. I propose a new NCAA regulation: all athletes must be recruited from Earthrealm.

Also, there is no truth to the rumor that, in order for Quan to "sign" with the Longhorns (in blood, of course), Mack Brown traded Will Muschamp's soul, cursing his body to remain in Austin for eternity. I think.

(Ed note: I will not be typing out a serious response to the game anytime soon. Probably. For me, the grief is still too near.)

Monday, December 29, 2008

Statistical Analysis, Part 3: Texas Defense

The third in a four part statistical analysis of each unit in the Texas-Ohio State Fiesta Bowl. Part one dealt with the Buckeye defense, part two dealt with the Texas offense, and part three covers the Longhorn defense.


To hardly anyone's surprise, the general meme around the banana republic that is Ohio State's corner of Blogfrica has been that Texas' defense is the weak spot of the team, and that Texas' lack of an elite defense will prevent this from being another embarrassing blowout. Like most conventional wisdom, this is an arrogant, and probably wrong assumption. In reviewing the defensive statistics for the teams the 'Horns offense has played, I saw some of Texas' defensive stats, particularly against the rush. I had nightmares. They are good. Will "Muskamp" does that to you. These are mostly assumptions I'm making prior to looking at the stats in-depth, however, so we shall see how they hold up afterward.

A few quick observations:

- Texas' run defense is sick-nasty and probably illegal in most states
- the secondary isn't half as bad as alleged given the offenses it has played
- Texas' defense is perfectly capable of making this game as ugly as any of the last few blowouts
- Hide the women, children. Hell, small animals too.



It's safe to say that three teams - Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, and Baylor - came into their game against Texas planning to win the game running the ball, like the Buckeyes inevitably will. The only game which did not end in tears for said team was Oklahoma State. Fortunately, Ohio State resembles Oklahoma State the most in terms of overall offense and players. Pryor is probably quicker in that Okie State QB Zac Robinson, and Wells is probably better (when healthy) than Kendall Hunter. The problem: Oklahoma State has a passing game to keep the defense honest. Ohio State, for most of the year, has not had any passing game, much less one to keep a defense honest. The numbers against Oklahoma are simply horrific: they held the Sooners, they of the two 1000-yard rushers, one hundred and fifty fuckin' yards under their average. It's a testament to Sam Bradford that it wasn't a blowout.

Texas is primed to shut Ohio State down. It's as simple as that. It's their strength against our strength, and I think it's hard to argue that Texas' rush defense isn't more consistent than Ohio State's rushing game, more than half of an offense that went three games without scoring an offensive touchdown. Big surprise: the offensive line has to show up. It can't just show up, though, it has to play the best game of any Ohio State offensive line since 2002 if it wants to, ya know, win. This is barring a ridiculous amount of turnovers by the Longhorns and three Malcolm Jenkins pick sixes.

No one is under any illusion that Ohio State is even a shadow of the best offense Texas has played, and with good reason. But to be fair, most offense are not Oklahoma, Texas Tech, Oklahoma State, or Missouri (who I'm watching struggle with Just Northwestern this very instant, to my dismay)

The impenetrable nature of the Texas rush defense may be why we're hearing about potential tricksyness with both Pryor and Boeckman on the field. As bad as the offensive line is, I'm not sure Boeckman can make all that much of a difference. I do like the move, somewhat, since it shows a willingness by Tressel to shake things up to best attack Texas' defensive "weakness". Perhaps Boeckman will end up saving the day, given that he can complete passes 20+ yards down the field with a consistency Pryor has yet to show? Perhaps Boeckman will go out on a positively storybook note, torching the Texas secondary for 200 or more yards. Does he have it in him? Does the line have it in them to block "Osackpo" for very long, if at all?

I doubt it. We shall see. If the numbers above don't cause you to go limp in the pants as an Ohio State fan, I don't know what will. Is there any hope, Gandalf, for Pryor and Beanie? Yeah, I think so. Penn State boasts a similarly dominating rushing defense, and Pryor actually did quite well moving the ball through the air against the subpar Penn State secondary. Of course, Ohio State managed a grand total of six points in the game, so if that's what we have to take for inspiration, excuse me if I'm a little intimidated. Also inspiring: Texas had a very a good rush D in 2006 even after we beat them, though we didn't exactly gash them on the ground in Austin.

In, sum, this is your defense:



This is your defense on Will Muschamp:



Stop your wailing in agony. If you aren't already an Ohio State football fatalist, you haven't been paying attention.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Sittin' on top of the world, part 1

The first in a three part series about - you guessed it - the last three years of Ohio State football




November 18, 2006. If you're an Ohio State fan and that date does not resonate with you in some way, you are dead to me, and the rest of the fan base. Number one versus number two, two evenly matched, excellent teams trading body blows for four quarters and the good guys emerging victorious. I was sitting there, Section 10B, row 13, seat 35, both arms raised in the air in a show of absolute joy - all my doubts, fears, and questions about the team erased with this one seemingly final triumph - as Antonio Pittman took the ball left for a first down, defiantly raising his muscular arm into the air and extending his index finger into the crisp autumn Columbus air. Only one more game to go and then we can officially call this the golden era of Ohio State football.

I was also there, couch, middle of my living room, Worthington, Ohio on January 8th, 2007, when the courage of men failed. When we forsook our friends and broke all bonds of fellowship. An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the age of men came crashing down.

Alright, it wasn't that bad. But nonetheless, the dream season came to an end with both the deadening bang of 41-14 and the whimper of David Patterson crying on the sidelines. 22 angry alligators swallowed up the Book of Dreams before the last page could be written. I bear Florida no grudges - they took advantage of our weaknesses and played to their strengths. Despite what people say about them, the Gator fans who lived in Columbus showed a lot of class with their win, even when the final score essentially demanded a heavy round of razzing for their Ohio State fan friends. I can't say I wouldn't have talked occasional shit to them had the score been reversed, though I know I would have done it facetiously.

The ensuing offseason was an odd one. 41-14 was the 4114lb gorilla in the room, taking a giant dump all over great memories from the win at Texas and Buckageddon and flinging monstrous flecks of shit at optimism for the upcoming season, which looked to be a year of heavy rebuilding before the big one in 2008.

But there was an undeniable seed planted. Whatever worked against a down Big Ten and a rebuilding Texas didn't work - like, at all - against a Florida team that struggled to put away basically everyone it played. Florida walked into Tempe and beat #1 Ohio State, with Troy, Teddy Ballgame, Gonzo, Little Animal, MJ, Alex Boone, and Beanie freaking Wells by as much as it had beaten Southern Miss (Dr. S, if you're reading this, I mean no offense). While many fans were willing to call the game a fluke, blaming it on Troy Smith and his tasty cheeseburgers, and the offensive line and their tasty baconchocolatecakecoronoarystravaganzas, and the general fact that most of the time no one gives a team a change in a game, said chance-less team comes out and after four quarters, all of the favored's team base are belong to them. Personally, I didn't know what to think. My Scout and Rivals-addled 17 year old brain called it was "a fluke", insisting that 9 times out of ten Ohio State would win that game. This is what Scout does to you, people. That is your brain on Scout. I stopped reading and contributing consistently to Scout the day after the championship game. I couldn't bring myself to stop reading and posting altogether until sometime in the next season, unfortunately.

2006 ended in disappointment. 2007 didn't have much promise, being a rebuilding year with seemingly tough games at Penn State and Michigan. If there was any time to be fatalistic about the team if not the program, this was probably it. I missed the boat. I didn't think the team would be great, but I didn't think the program was dead either. Just another 10-2 season and a BCS game, no?