What the fuck, Scout?

So I made the mistake of dropping by the Ohio State Scout website today, only to see that recruiting has hit a new high (low?) in overall creepiness. The young man above is a freshman for an Ohio high school football team. A freaking freshman. I could not tell you which high school he plays for, because I am not a pederast. Look, I know the guys at Scout have jobs to do and probably get paid for well for what they do, but come on. He's a freshman, damn it. The kid is about five minutes older than my youngest cousin, someone I remember as a newborn. Soon he'll get hair in funny places and start thinking about girls.

I'm exaggerating, but before this kid has had to memorize the Preamble, he's got 40 year old dudes, Scouts and fans of teams he may or may not be interested in salivating over his "athletic ability", his "hip swivel" and his "body control". Calm down, you dirty pedos, and at least wait till the kid is within shouting distance of 18 so he can immediately recognize your sweaty, fat, poorly-mustachioed asses for what you are, answer your questions, and avoid your shit until signing day.




"Hip swivel", dude.